Monday, April 23, 2012

My biggest fear.....now in my reality wagon

I took me a few days after reading this article by Rex Dalton to compose my thoughts enough to eloquently write something that is not full of profanity and stating the ass kicking that I would like to dole out to several people involved in this.


The article sums it up completely, Rex laid it out very well.  Basically this is my biggest fear and the thing that keeps me up at night.  You see, my oldest son is a non-verbal moderately to severe 5 year old with Autism, and he does not have the ability to tell me what happens during a normal day at school, so I trust in the school that they are taking care of him and educating him.  That trust has now been shattered into a million little pieces.  It was not shattered by my son's school or anyone that works with him - or this would be a completely different post. (Probably made from a jail cell)

However, with all that being said don't think that I don't stop by school unannounced frequently to keep everyone on their toes.  I have made friendly with the Administrative staff, I bring cookies, cakes, coffee, and when I show up with my sons "lunch" I walk it over to his classroom with no discussion or problem.

At Taft Elementary School in Orange, CA and the Orange Unified School District they hired a human piece of excrement that "allegedly" abused the special needs children all non verbal.  And the horribly disturbing part is from the report of the aide giving it to the school, it was 3 months before the parents were notified.  3 MONTHS!!!!!  Are you insane?!  Are you kidding?!  What in the hell is wrong with people?  And by people I mean the school and school district and the teachers union.  This piece of trash is out on PAID administrative leave.  NICE!  If I was a parent in that district, I would just for general principal DEMAND that everyone that touched this case and did not notify the parents immediately BE FIRED!!!!

I am so thankful that this is not my school, district or child because there is not a way that I would be able to act as dignified as the parents involved.  If my kid is hurt, threatened, or I fear in any kind of discomfort a MOTHER GRIZZLY is going to UNLEASH an attack on you that you would not imagine.

These are special needs kids!  I mean come on, they have a hard enough life as it is.  This maggot had to allegedly abuse them, the district is apparently in the midst of a deep cover up, and the union trash is making sure the teacher that is accused of the heinous activity is PAID.  But let me ask you this, WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE KIDS????  Isn't that what the school district is for, is to serve and educate the CHILDREN, not PAY ABUSIVE TEACHERS?

My son can not talk, and I do not know what goes on in his classroom all the time, and I live with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that someone, someday will hurt him and take and advantage of him and reading this article it made it a little bit more of my reality.  Autism is a fucked reality to live in daily. I love to look at the amazing strides that my kids make, to have to think and inspect their bodies for bruises everyday is now a part of our reality because they can't tell us what happens.  SHIT!  My biggest fear, that I have stuffed down for 3 years that my kids have been in school, is now a part of the autism reality.  So thank you asshats for adding yet another heavy stone to the wagon of fear I pull around with me everyday.
 
Rebecca

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Be Aware and Accept Autism

Last week the Centers for Disease Control revised the number of the children and families.  1 in 88.  1 in 88!  1 in 56 of those is a boy.

Being that this is Autism Awareness month, if you are not aware or don't know anyone affected by autism, you probably will.  There are things you should know about Autism families because they do now walk amongst the "beautiful people".
  • Autism hurts - it's hurts your heart, your soul, sometimes it even hurts to breath when you look at your child and you think of the struggles they have to go through daily to do the simplest tasks. So be kind and if you can't think of anything supportive to say, just give a pat on the back.
  • A lot of  friends will disappear after diagnosis so the families are lonely and sad and the friends that stick around are people with souls and hearts of gold.
  • If you are the kind of mother that needs to relentlessly comment on what a genius your spawn is,  - YOU ALWAYS WIN WITH THE AUTISTIC FAMILY.  So here is your award, so now you may possibly be able to tone it down a little when you are constantly talking about what a genius your baby is when my 5 year old has been being potty trained for a year and a half.
  • Being a mom is hard being a mom of a special needs kid is a level of exhaustion that you will never fathom.  Bring a meal over, come sit with your friend while their kids are in therapy.  Ask them what they need.
  • Please keep extending invitations, one day we won't be afraid of what our kids may or may not do in public or in a new home.  It's not that we don't want to go some things are so much on our kids sensory system we don't know what will happen and it is easier sometimes to stay in our cocoon.
  • Please don't point out that my kid doesn't or won't play with your kids.  I know, I am keenly aware of the social ineptness that my child suffers from.  
  • Don't be the informer.  Don't think you have to call or email every article or piece of research of autism that comes out in the media.  We have heard it, read it, seen it, laughed at it, cried at it, and been pissed at every piece of media about autism that there is.
  • Don't be a well meaning moron by asking "Oh is he going to be like Rain Man?  You can take him to Vegas and get rich?"  Seriously - DON'T EVER SAY THAT  I was shocked at how many people think that. It's not funny, and that is not AUTISM.
  • Don't stare at your friends autistic kids like they are a ticking time bomb.  They are not going to blow up.  Don't be afraid, ask us what you can do or how to interact with the kids.  They won't hurt you.  
  • Do know that sometimes we may call you up crying because some days the reality is a little too real.
  • Know that your friend misses your old friendship and the laughter and the good times.
There is so much to be aware of with families affected by autism, but common sense and kindness will go the farthest.  Make yourself aware, learn about it if you have a friend that is now touched with autism extend the olive branch.  Your heart and soul will thank you for it. 

The women and families in our neighborhood are the greatest example of awareness and acceptance that I have ever come across, their children are good to my kids, they are good to my kids no matter what they may do and how they behave.  I sometimes wish the rest of the world was like my neighborhood, it may make me want to venture out of my 1 mile radius :).
Rebecca

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Barry's Bootcamp - End of the 30 day challenge- but still a work in progressRebec

My 30 days of training at Barry's Bootcamp in Irvine have come to an end.  It was an amazing ride, it took me to levels of working out I did not think I was capable of.  It kicked up my knowledge of nutrition, physical fitness, and mental clarity a couple of notches.  When I didn't think I could make it through something on the treadmill or even here in my home with my kids having a horrible autistic day, all I could hear were the trainer voices in my head "You can do this!", "You can do anything for 45 seconds", "Yes it will hurt, yes it will suck, but that is what makes the change happen".   It's crazy because all of those phrases are so true and it took being yelled at on a treadmill to make them a reality to me.

It was great to end the challenge at the Irvine Lake Mud Run, and while I was trudging through the mud seeing one of my trainers blow past me with a smile, I love the motivation that Scott, Kara, and Kathryn gave me to do things that as a 45 year old former fat girl never though she would be able to do.

I accepted the challenge and wanted to lose the last 20 lbs that I have been trying to get off of my rump.  I didn't quite make that goal, I lost 12 lbs in the month of March, an inch off of my waist, an inch off of my chest, and around each thigh!!!

This was a wonderful mental and physical challenge, I think an amazing cross training for my half marathon in a month.   I wake up each morning and just feel stronger.
Before

I want to thank Barry's Bootcamp and The Ace Agency for inviting me to the challenge, it was a huge gift to mentally break through and be able to do things that I had convinced myself for years I would never be able to do. 

So I will see Barry's every Friday for a full body workout and continue my half marathon training, and becoming an athlete, the former fat girl is gone and the real athlete mom is now in the house!!!!


After

Always In Progress
Rebecca
 
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