Sunday, April 10, 2011

Losing It



I have struggled with my weight for my entire life, and I've lost and gained and yo-yo'd and been skinny and been fat.  I was pretty happy with where I was at before I had my kids and then the mommy gut really became a GUT.  Gaining 60 lbs 2 times in 2 years and not losing all of my weight after either baby made me miserable.  The kids just ruined me, along with the pints of ice cream I was eating everyday.  (I was breastfeed, or eating for two, or I deserved a treat..... ad infinitum).

Last March when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and quickly made a decision for my treatment and had a year of surgeries and reconstruction, I began to take my health very seriously.  It is no longer a fad, or a book, or 50 grapefruits a week, or a big pot of cabbage soup, or South Beach, or Atkins, or shakes, or some crappy packaged food for thousands of dollars.  It is my health and my ability to be a mom to my kids and a wife to my husband dammit.  It shouldn't be that hard.  So in September I made a commitment to start eating better, and I've counted calories and I started out walking daily, and pounds slowly started coming off.

Between the Holidays and work and everything I sort of fell of the food wagon but kept the exercising up. And then I made another commitment to walk and add a little running to my distance.  I'm not sure I would exactly call it a run it was more like a slow trot.  As time has gone by I am able to run for a lot longer, maybe run is still to generous of a word, a moderate jog maybe.    But that also may be because I am an old fart.  I'm middle aged for crying out loud, and I'm in MENOPAUSE!!!!  I think I'm going to start running races.  It's laughable really.    But you know what??  I don't care.  The last 2 years have been all about challenging me.  My son's Autism, my husbands struggles with Alcoholism, my battle with cancer, and a crazy terrorist 2 year old, if I can make it through all that with a shred of sanity I can run a 10K.  Well I'm doing it, I signed up and I'm running the Revlon Run for Women's Cancer on May 7th around the Los Angeles Coliseum.

I'm running almost daily and starting to actually look forward to getting on the treadmill, and today I even ran outside with my dogs.  I feel most days like my body has been taken apart and put back together a little bit askew.  I hope that the soreness subsides eventually, but in a bizarre way it feels good.  It's a head clearer, I don't feel insane (most of the time), none of my pants fit (and I have no money to shop) but thank goodness summer is coming, and since last September I am down 50lbs. 70 total since the cancer surgeries.  So really without "dieting", I have actually gone through the lifestyle change, and am putting my health first.

I had no idea there were so many different avenues to find information on the internet and how many other "bloggers" are out there that have had this weight issue.  I am gaining a lot of knowledge and confidence from the women that have trudged the road in front of me on the internet.  I appreciate all the women that I have gone before me and are there to follow.  You are amazing.

Rebecca

1 comment:

  1. Rebecca...umm, you are amazing too!!! Just keep keeping on, and May 7th will be a beautiful day for you on many levels. Tap into me if you need it!

    ReplyDelete

 
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